Valentines Day an opportunity and entry point into inquiry – What really is this ‘Crazy little thing called ‘LOVE”?
This week Satsang occurs on Feb 14th, a day traditionally celebrated as Valentines Day – a day of romantic love. Whilst yes it is beautiful to celebrate with our beloveds, there are however so many ideals and ideas about love, how and when it should be celebrated, what it is and is not – all of which leave us disillusioned and seeking. Seeking for true love, romantic love, wild love, passionate love, crazily in love, real love, all in the hope that this so called true love will give us a sense of self, a sense of security, a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, a sense of identity. When people are having an issue with love, I often hear the line from Queen’s song – ‘…a crazy little thing called love….’
Let us use Valentines day as an opportunity, as an entry point into inquiry – what really is this Crazy little thing called ‘LOVE’?
What really is LOVE? There is never any right answer to this question only truthful and direct self inquiry. Do you really want to stay in the endless cycle of looking for, needing and wanting love? Or do you want to be free? – There comes a point where the idea of love is no longer fulfilling – the opportunity then is to turn your full attention to what is already fulfilled – this love that is always here undisturbed as your own self.
Any idea or concept about love is just that, an idea or a concept. Romantic love is an idea of how we might want love to look, feel, or be as an experience. The same goes for ‘true love’ or ‘real love’ or any other term you may want to use – you will find that underneath these words ‘true’ and ‘real’ – there is still a hope, a longing, an idea about love, looking seeking for the real deal, the one, a knowing how it should or should not look and feel or show up.
The word love is used in so many different ways, to refer to different situation, circumstance, experiences, events and feelings.
Most people have a desire, a need, or a want, to be loved. A feeling they are able to be loved or loving or not based on the early experiences of care. When we are young the sense of being cared for, nurtured, embraced, touched, fed, feeling safe, belonging – we tend to call love. We feel we were loved or are lovable based on the caring we received, or not loved or unlovable, if we perceived it was missing in these forms as a baby and child. As we grow and become an adult this sense of care ( being called love ) is projected outward onto another, to give this love to us, creating again the feeling of belonging, feeling safe, secure protected, nurtured and being cared for, or the opposite as rejection, unsafe, and abandonment.
Many others assume that Love is a feeling or a sensation, in the heart or body, a sensation of warmth, openness, and care for self or other, or this that is received from another. Often love is confused with lust, sensuality or sexuality. Some people have given up on the idea of love totally, replacing wanting Love with the feeling of care, like or respect. The commonality here is that Love is regarded as a thought, feeling or sensation and as coming from the outside.
It is important to speak the truth to yourself. To first discover all that this word is for you, all the thoughts, feelings and sensations that you associate with it. Then for the purpose of inquiry, just for a moment, leave all that you have associated with the word love. Notice how when you experience love as a sensation or feeling that it comes and goes, allow it to come and go without trying to keep it or reject it. Then you can penetrate more deeply into what is untouched by this movement of the thoughts, feelings, sensations.
So, how do you feel about love? Is love something that is crazy, something that you can’t handle? Is love this thing that seems just out of reach? Does love have you feel out if control, or makes you want to control others? Is love illusive, overbearing, or non-existent?
What is it that you are defining love as – a thought, an emotion, a sensation, an action, behaviour, a set of circumstances?
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the mind to your thoughts and fantasies, dreams and desires?
Is love a mental activity, swinging from one thought to the next, needing, wanting, pleasing, pleading, doing, yearning, longing, planning, imagining? When we stay still, if we just stay here, we discover there is no future, there is no past, there is no suffering with mental activity – then where is love? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the activity of mind and thoughts.
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the emotions, to the feelings, to your emotive responses that stem from your fantasies, hopes, dreams and desires? The emotions, where do they arise? Notice how emotions are always arising and falling, changing in intensity and quality, changing name and form. Is love this roller coaster of crazy emotions, elation, deflation, happiness, misery, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, ecstasy, and devastation?
Are all of these fluctuating emotions that are arising in the mind and body really love? What if you were to stay still and not grasp any emotion, any feeling no matter how painful or pleasurable – what is discovered – what then and where is love? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the highs and lows of emotional response.
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the sensations in the body, to the arousal filtered through your thoughts and fantasies, dreams and desires? Are the physical sensations of attraction, repulsion, pleasure, arousal, really love?
Is love really the physical sensations of pleasure and pain, of arousal, attraction, repulsion, this that makes you sweat and shake and want to get on your bike to run towards or away from love? is this really love – or is it sensuality, sexuality, attraction, desire, lust, need? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the bodily sensations and physical responses.
Where else do you look for love – in circumstances, events, relationships? Where in your life are you feeling like you cant handle love? What is it about love that there is to handle? Where are you wishing that you could just get around to love or or wish the other person would get around to it? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through circumstances or events, through any relationships or lack of them.
Where else do you look for love – When we entertain our thoughts, the mental activity, we swing between the polarities of thought, future and past, pleasure and pain – this is all mind – none of it is love. Love cannot be found in the past – where is the past, the past is gone, the past doesn’t exist – try to find it – where do you have to look for the past? What do you discover? The past is only ever in your mind. So love cannot be found by looking to the past no matter how delightful memories may be.
What about the future, where do we need to look to find it, where can it be found? it also doesn’t exist, so all of the mental projections, the longings, the fantasies, are all in the mind, they too don’t exist other than in the mind. So love cannot be found in the past or the future – what about the present, where is it, can you find it? – even the present is illusive moving from the future to past in an instant. Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the past or future or through hoping in the present, which instantly becomes past and future again.
What about any of this, has anything to do with this crazy little word called ‘love’?
If love has been based on all of our false ideas and concepts, how then do we reconcile this with the spiritual sayings, ‘who we are is love’, ‘love is all there is’, ‘the truth is love’? When the word Love is truthfully investigated and seen for what it is, then real inquiry can take place.
For the purpose of inquiry, just for a moment, leave all that you have associated with the word love. Notice how when you experience love as a sensation or feeling that it comes and goes, allow it to come and go without trying to keep it or reject it. Then you can penetrate more deeply into what is untouched by this movement of the thoughts, feelings, sensations.
So what is it now that you are defining love as?
If you could no longer look to the mind or thoughts, if you could no longer to the feelings or emotions, if you could no longer look to any of the physical sensations or cues of the body, if you could no longer look to outward circumstances, events or relationships to define love – If you could no longer define love – then what remains – what is really here always, available, free, here, now
Notice what remains?
Can you even name this?
You may find that the mind wants to name this and so names and sensations arise, feelings of love, bliss, space etc, notice that these sensations too will fall back into this that you are.
Again Notice what remains?
Can you even name this?
What then is your true experience of love?
When you surrender everything you thought was love, just surrender and open innocently to this that is here now, unknown – what is discovered?
This that you are needs no definition, this that you are requires nothing in name or form, this that you are is love itself, this that you are is the beloved, it cannot be named or owned, or given or it is you – this that you have been searching for, recoiling from, desiring, pleading with life for – this with no defining is discovered to be love, this that is free, boundary-less, wordless, emotionless, body-less, sensation-less, thought-free, this is love.
Love is the surrendered grace that is everything in every moment. – what a relief !! Now how will your life look without all that previous need to define and seek love – wow – what an adventure you are in for with the divine realisation of your own self – hold onto your hats because this crazy little thing called love is you !!!!
In Satsang there is the opportunity to have your Self revealed to your self , to discover this that you are is Love here and now, regardless of what is showing up as this physical experience. Satsang points to the truth, that there is the possibility to know yourself here and now, as you are, with all of the experiences of the arising of form, of body, of mind, of emotions, of appearances, of circumstance, without needing to fix, change, or alter anything, to be at peace, to be free, here and now – as love itself. Satsang gives the opportunity to inquire deeply into what is, past the illusion of thought, feelings and sensations … discover the self as you are … this that love is, without the need for anything to be added or subtracted … then love is free, fresh and unimagined.
~ Namaste Yantra-ji