Self-Care – this one is for the men and those that love you!
As I continue to share about Self-care, and as so many of my beautiful and beloved friends both in life and here on fb are men, I’m aware that many of you many not read these posts, or feel they are intended for you, due to this phrase.
Self-care is for all of us – it is not gender specific!!!
Whilst this is definitely true, that Self-care is for all of us and is not gender specific, the words ‘self-care’ have a feminine sound, it is a phrase not generally used by men.
So, I have been reflecting on the phrases I do hear men use and have also had conversations with my beloved to gain more clarity – and wanted to share our insights on this.
What we uncovered, is that sadly many of the phrases used by the men, are not actually referring to Self-care, rather they are phrases or practices referring to managing stress after the fact, that self-care or any word or phrase meaning the same thing is often foreign or may be missing entirely from the male vocabulary.
Whilst as women, many of us have open conversations about self-care, nurturing and support, in sharing this conversation with my beloved, it became apparent that many men are more reserved in asking for help, reluctant to share that there may be a need for support, or that Self-care as a concept is missing entirely – this has been sad, eye-opening, valuable, revealing, humbling and alarming.
Stress management – points to already being stressed and needing to manage that stress
De-stress – also points to already being stressed
Stress relief – is the same
Winding down or unwinding, implies again already having been wound up
Maintaining health and fitness, or managing or maintaining mental well-being, seems only to point to one part of the picture.
While phrases like ‘time out’, ‘chilling’ and ‘kicking back’, do seem to invoke a similar quality – is having a few beers, or some entertainment, actually distracting from, suppressing, or covering over the need for true self-care?
A question then arises here – both for you as men and for us as those who love and care about you – How can we use language, and open a conversation, that is supportive of you as men, taking care of yourselves, doing what is necessary, asking for help and support, to have the ‘self-care’ that is required, so that you can live life fully, where stress may not need to arise, need to be managed or suppressed?
So, if you are one of my dear and beloved male friends, I would love you to take some time to read these thoughts, reflections and questions below on Self-care – even if you need to change or alter or disregard the word ‘self-care’ – just know that this is also for you <3
Self-care is really an act of love, an allowing of grace, how we love and support ourselves, or how we are supported by others – to be, do and have, in a way that is aligned with our well-being, with integrity, with balance and love.
Self-care may be very personal or non-personal, there may be specific needs or requirements that are fixed, or very fluid, as we change evolve and grow.
Self-care may refer to activities and practices, that can on a personal level help to reduce stress and enhance overall well-being: essentially, proactively taking care of ourself.
Self-care can help in dealing with the daily stresses in life—from academic pressures, to interpersonal relationships, to future plans, and others.
Self-care may mean doing or not doing, in all areas of life, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Self-care may also relate to a wider view, where we include others personal well-being, our community and the environment, as part of self-care.
Over these next days and weeks we will explore this theme and some of these Self-care topics together, which may include these or you may like to add and contribute others:
Rest / Sleep
Practices / rhythm / cycles / rituals
Exercise / sport / movement / dance / yoga
Sound / song / chanting
Quiet / silence / space / simplicity
Disconnecting /pulling back / regrouping / reassessing
Time out / Stopping
Support / Asking for help / sharing
Speaking up / being heard / truthfulness
Creating / art / making / buil
ding / repairing
Cleanses / clearing / change / letting go
water / food / diet / nutrition / juices
Therapies / healing
Touch / massage
Sensuality / sexuality / sacredness / intimacy
Reading / Reflection / Journalling
Relationship / friendship / Community
Travelling / exploring / Adventure
Sacred circle / gatherings / ceremony
Prayer / puja
Honouring / listening / grace
Integrity / alignment / trust
Here are some questions to start off with:
* How would you define Self-Care ?
* Is self-care a conscious part of your daily, weekly or monthly rhythm ?
* Are there specific physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual rituals and practices that you have – or need to have for self-care ?
* Have you considered that self-care can encompass a wider view to incorporate, and support others, community and the environment ?
* Is there something you’d like to share or offer about Self-Care ?
You may like to reflect on these, or share in the comments below, or send me a pm – as I’d really love us to engage together in this way – so much love, compassion and support here, for and with you ~ Yantra <3
PS : please share this post with you friends