Feb 202017

Valentines Day an opportunity and entry point into inquiry – What really is this ‘Crazy little thing called ‘LOVE”?


This week Satsang occurs on Feb 14th, a day traditionally celebrated as Valentines Day – a day of romantic love. Whilst yes it is beautiful to celebrate with our beloveds, there are however so many ideals and ideas about love, how and when it should be celebrated, what it is and is not – all of which leave us disillusioned and seeking. Seeking for true love, romantic love, wild love, passionate love, crazily in love, real love, all in the hope that this so called true love will give us a sense of self, a sense of security, a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, a sense of identity. When people are having an issue with love, I often hear the line from Queen’s song – ‘…a crazy little thing called love….’

Let us use Valentines day as an opportunity, as an entry point into inquiry – what really is this Crazy little thing called ‘LOVE’?
What really is LOVE? There is never any right answer to this question only truthful and direct self inquiry. Do you really want to stay in the endless cycle of looking for, needing and wanting love? Or do you want to be free? – There comes a point where the idea of love is no longer fulfilling – the opportunity then is to turn your full attention to what is already fulfilled – this love that is always here undisturbed as your own self.

Any idea or concept about love is just that, an idea or a concept. Romantic love is an idea of how we might want love to look, feel, or be as an experience. The same goes for ‘true love’ or ‘real love’ or any other term you may want to use – you will find that underneath these words ‘true’ and ‘real’ – there is still a hope, a longing, an idea about love, looking seeking for the real deal, the one, a knowing how it should or should not look and feel or show up.
The word love is used in so many different ways, to refer to different situation, circumstance, experiences, events and feelings.
Most people have a desire, a need, or a want, to be loved. A feeling they are able to be loved or loving or not based on the early experiences of care. When we are young the sense of being cared for, nurtured, embraced, touched, fed, feeling safe, belonging – we tend to call love. We feel we were loved or are lovable based on the caring we received, or not loved or unlovable, if we perceived it was missing in these forms as a baby and child. As we grow and become an adult this sense of care ( being called love ) is projected outward onto another, to give this love to us, creating again the feeling of belonging, feeling safe, secure protected, nurtured and being cared for, or the opposite as rejection, unsafe, and abandonment.
Many others assume that Love is a feeling or a sensation, in the heart or body, a sensation of warmth, openness, and care for self or other, or this that is received from another. Often love is confused with lust, sensuality or sexuality. Some people have given up on the idea of love totally, replacing wanting Love with the feeling of care, like or respect. The commonality here is that Love is regarded as a thought, feeling or sensation and as coming from the outside.
It is important to speak the truth to yourself. To first discover all that this word is for you, all the thoughts, feelings and sensations that you associate with it. Then for the purpose of inquiry, just for a moment, leave all that you have associated with the word love. Notice how when you experience love as a sensation or feeling that it comes and goes, allow it to come and go without trying to keep it or reject it. Then you can penetrate more deeply into what is untouched by this movement of the thoughts, feelings, sensations.
So, how do you feel about love? Is love something that is crazy, something that you can’t handle? Is love this thing that seems just out of reach? Does love have you feel out if control, or makes you want to control others? Is love illusive, overbearing, or non-existent?
What is it that you are defining love as – a thought, an emotion, a sensation, an action, behaviour, a set of circumstances?
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the mind to your thoughts and fantasies, dreams and desires?
Is love a mental activity, swinging from one thought to the next, needing, wanting, pleasing, pleading, doing, yearning, longing, planning, imagining? When we stay still, if we just stay here, we discover there is no future, there is no past, there is no suffering with mental activity – then where is love? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the activity of mind and thoughts.
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the emotions, to the feelings, to your emotive responses that stem from your fantasies, hopes, dreams and desires? The emotions, where do they arise? Notice how emotions are always arising and falling, changing in intensity and quality, changing name and form. Is love this roller coaster of crazy emotions, elation, deflation, happiness, misery, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, ecstasy, and devastation?
Are all of these fluctuating emotions that are arising in the mind and body really love? What if you were to stay still and not grasp any emotion, any feeling no matter how painful or pleasurable – what is discovered – what then and where is love? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the highs and lows of emotional response.
Where do you look for love? Do you look to the sensations in the body, to the arousal filtered through your thoughts and fantasies, dreams and desires? Are the physical sensations of attraction, repulsion, pleasure, arousal, really love?
Is love really the physical sensations of pleasure and pain, of arousal, attraction, repulsion, this that makes you sweat and shake and want to get on your bike to run towards or away from love? is this really love – or is it sensuality, sexuality, attraction, desire, lust, need? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the bodily sensations and physical responses.
Where else do you look for love – in circumstances, events, relationships? Where in your life are you feeling like you cant handle love? What is it about love that there is to handle?  Where are you wishing that you could just get around to love or or wish the other person would get around to it? Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through circumstances or events, through any relationships or lack of them.
Where else do you look for love – When we entertain our thoughts, the mental activity, we swing between the polarities of thought, future and past, pleasure and pain – this is all mind – none of it is love. Love cannot be found in the past – where is the past, the past is gone, the past doesn’t exist – try to find it – where do you have to look for the past? What do you discover?  The past is only ever in your mind. So love cannot be found by looking to the past no matter how delightful memories may be.
What about the future, where do we need to look to find it, where can it be found? it also doesn’t exist, so all of the mental projections, the longings, the fantasies, are all in the mind, they too don’t exist other than in the mind. So love cannot be found in the past or the future – what about the present, where is it, can you find it? – even the present is illusive moving from the future to past in an instant. Rather than love being crazy, you discover what is ‘crazy’ is defining love through the past or future or through hoping in the present, which instantly becomes past and future again.
What about any of this, has anything to do with this crazy little word called ‘love’?
If love has been based on all of our false ideas and concepts, how then do we reconcile this with the spiritual sayings, ‘who we are is love’, ‘love is all there is’, ‘the truth is love’? When the word Love is truthfully investigated and seen for what it is, then real inquiry can take place.
For the purpose of inquiry, just for a moment, leave all that you have associated with the word love. Notice how when you experience love as a sensation or feeling that it comes and goes, allow it to come and go without trying to keep it or reject it. Then you can penetrate more deeply into what is untouched by this movement of the thoughts, feelings, sensations.
So what is it now that you are defining love as?
If you could no longer look to the mind or thoughts, if you could no longer to the feelings or emotions, if you could no longer look to any of the physical sensations or cues of the body, if you could no longer look to outward circumstances, events or relationships to define love – If you could no longer define love – then what remains – what is really here always, available, free, here, now
Notice what remains?
Can you even name this?
You may find that the mind wants to name this and so names and sensations arise, feelings of love, bliss, space etc, notice that these sensations too will fall back into this that you are.
Again Notice what remains?
Can you even name this?
What then is your true experience of love?
When you surrender everything you thought was love, just surrender and open innocently to this that is here now, unknown – what is discovered?
This that you are needs no definition, this that you are requires nothing in name or form, this that you are is love itself, this that you are is the beloved, it cannot be named or owned, or given or it is you – this that you have been searching for, recoiling from, desiring, pleading with life for – this with no defining is discovered to be love, this that is free, boundary-less, wordless, emotionless, body-less, sensation-less, thought-free, this is love.
Love is the surrendered grace that is everything in every moment. – what a relief !!  Now how will your life look without all that previous need to define and seek love – wow – what an adventure you are in for with the divine realisation of your own self – hold onto your hats because this crazy little thing called love is you !!!!
In Satsang there is the opportunity to have your Self revealed to your self , to discover this that you are is Love here and now, regardless of what is showing up as this physical experience. Satsang points to the truth, that there is the possibility to know yourself here and now, as you are, with all of the experiences of the arising of form, of body, of mind, of emotions, of appearances, of circumstance, without needing to fix, change, or alter anything, to be at peace, to be free, here and now – as love itself. Satsang gives the opportunity to inquire deeply into what is, past the illusion of thought, feelings and sensations … discover the self as you are … this that love is, without the need for anything to be added or subtracted … then love is free, fresh and unimagined.
~ Namaste Yantra-ji

Feb 062017

Fuoco 4 – Version 2

A Life on Fire – with Yantra-ji

A life on Fire’, a one day Satsang retreat was offered at the end of Jan 2017 What does this mean ‘A Life on fire’?

Not me and my personal life, rather this that is life itself, alight with the blaze of its own grace.

What is this ‘life that is living you’?

As you allow the fire of grace to burn through all that is not real – you discover yourself in and as a blaze of truth. How is this life then to be lived?

What is the call of this inner fire?

Discover what is here always in this blazing fire of truth – your own self, ignited as the fire of life itself. Join us for a deeply revealing inquiry and discover this endless fire of grace and love, that is and has always been your own self.

Following is an edited excerpt from two chapters in the Satsang book ‘Profound Awakening – Meeting Papaji Now – Vol 1 – Yantra-ji’, this book will be available for purchase mid year 2017.

The Fire of Surrender

Let your will burn in this fire so that it takes you nowhere else. Let your self be burned in this fire of eternity, love and peace. Don’t be afraid of this fire, it is love itself. This desire for freedom is the fire of love! ~ Papaji

” …Through the intensity of what I was now faced with, I was being offered an opportunity by life, to surrender everything. This fire could not be ignored, I had to meet and feel the intensity of it all, the anger, the rage, the sadness, the grief. Every thought, belief, desire, hope and concept about my marriage, my self, my life, was being burnt to dust. It was a fire so hot burning inside me, burning everything, as though Kali and Durga themselves (the powerful fiery protective forces of the Hindu goddesses) had been summoned, consuming everything that was a lie in my life – there was not an option to do anything else …. how that would look and where it would end I did not know.”

“…… Then something unexpected happened, as it does in life, or rather a series of unexpected events. ……”

“….. Understandably I was upset, I was angry, and I was devastated. All I could do was to surrender and meet all that arose, all of the upset, the anger, the devastation and the mistrust. In the willingness to experience it fully there was a realness, a rawness, and a sense of peace, that all was occurring as it should be. No matter what was arising there was a sense that it was all arising from and falling back into this deeper embrace of peace. In surrendering everything to this fire of Papaji’s love, I was experiencing all of life being held in this embrace…..”

“…. In Rishikesh, it felt as though my mind had been silenced, as though my mind had been left behind somehow. There was just a profound quiet and deep trust of this unfolding, whatever that was and however that looked.” …… “It was such a hugely deepening and opening experience, not something that can tangibly be expressed in words.

What does deepening mean? What does opening mean? The best description that I can really give is to say that the mind is silenced, the mind is left behind, thought is non-existent, while daily action and activity could just occur naturally, and spontaneously – whether eating, drinking, walking, yoga, meditation, seeing, speaking, or in silence. All of it occurred and was occurring, in this blaze of stillness, in this huge embrace that had been created both by Janaki and this sacred pilgrimage through India and through Mother India herself, through the blessing of grace itself…..”


Just be quiet. This quiet does not involve talking or not talking. It does not involve any doing whatsoever. Just let the mind fall into silence. This is enough. ~ Papaji

“…One of the days in Rishikesh was set aside as a time of preparation, with meditation, chanting and silence on the banks of the river, on a beautiful beach….” “…. Prayers were offered to the holy Mother, to the Ganga, Ganga Ma, regarding that which we wanted to let go of, that which we wanted to offer up, to surrender up to God, to grace, to life, to cleansing, to healing, to truth, to freedom.

This prayer to freedom itself, that was burning inside of me, that was living me, that had brought me to India, was offered up. My whole life was being offered, all of it, everything in service to truth, in service to this that I am, this unspeakable presence. It is amazing how many words we use to try and describe this that is so silent, huge, profound, vast and unspeakable.”

“…..Stepping into that holy river was as though it was a burning all-consuming fire, obliterating, everything, consuming the identity, the name, the form, the mind, and everything known. Cleansed in deep prayer, in the clear crystal waters of the Ganga, this bathing was like being cleansed in a burning fire of icy cold purity, with mother Ganga taking everything offered to her.

And ‘who’ stepped out? Yes that is it – WHO? – just This, not a someone, just This, clean, clear, presence.

“Firstly there must be a desire for God, a love for God or a desire for liberation, without that nothing is possible.

Secondly, this desire for God or realisation is like an inner flame, one must kindle it and fan it, until it becomes a raging fire which consumes all of one’s other desires and interests.

Thirdly, if this inner fire rages for long enough, with sufficient intensity, it will finally consume even that one central overwhelming desire for God or the self.”
~ Papaji

The fire of freedom is just that, it is a fire that burns and consumes everything into itself, as itself. It leaves nothing, no stone unturned, no semblance of any past, present, future, just clarity, pristine awareness, the naked truth, naked to Itself. This is how ‘I’ emerged from the river Ganga – naked to myself, to life, to this unspeakable, fathomless, presence…..”

May the fire of your own self obliterate all that is not you, leaving this clean, clear, pristine, unmistakable grace, that is your own self ~ all love ~ Namaste Yantra-ji


Dec 052016



‘In the Heart of Love’ – Every day we are faced with so much. Often the natural inherent beauty and love seems to be overshadowed by trivial and mundane daily trials, or family, community, or world crisis. Our hearts are often burdened with the weight of what is occurring in the outer circumstances. As human beings we react and try to protect ourselves from this seeming onslaught, by being in denial, avoiding, or retaliating, all the while perpetuating the very suffering we are trying to avoid.

In our need to avoid what we are faced with, we ultimately avoid what is so precious, true, at peace and always present. At this time of the year at the lead up to Christmas, there is so much frantic rush and business. The essence of the peace and beauty, the truth of this time of the year, is often overlooked. Rather than a time to celebrate the light that is each one of us, Christmas time often turns into a spending, eating, disconnected event, one that is not of the heart and not of love, instead full of obligation, conflict, and upset.

‘In the heart of love’ could be the words we use that symbolize the truth of Christmas time. Whether you are a practicing Christian or not, the end of the year offers a time to honour and reflect on the Christ light that is found within each of us. The symbolism of the ‘Christ child’, is the light of consciousness being birthed into physical form, which can be seen reflected in the eyes of all children, and if we are willing to look deeply, truthfully, into another we see the same light is shining as our own consciousness, as the one self.

What is here in the heart of love when we are willing to stop? to be still? to be silent? What is discovered when we stop engaging with the thoughts about our life, or our circumstances? What is discovered in the willingness to stop in mid fight or flight, to stop all internal conflict, all avoidance, all pseudo protection? No matter the intensity of what is going on, no matter the upset, no matter who or what is at fault, no matter how painful, or distressing, we actually always have the choice to stop and be still – what is really here when you are willing to meet fully what is here?

When we are willing to stop, to be still, to be silent, we discover our heart has the capacity to bear it all, we discover a love that is so vast that it encompasses all, we discover what has always been here in the heart of love – We discover in our own heart – all hearts, we discover the truth of love – is all love. No matter what is occurring, there is the possibility to be fully present, here as your own self, fully immersed in the heart of love. l encourage you to give yourself the gift of this fresh discovery, deepening in the heart of love – Namaste Yantra-ji

Nov 142016

Who is this ‘someone’ that is showing up?



What a privilege it is to share with beloveds in Satsang and the fresh discovery of what is true. Last week we had a very strong inquiry through the questions : Who is this ‘someone’ who is showing up? Who is this ‘someone’ who has a life, who is this ‘someone’ who comes to Satsang? Where are you still identified a ‘someone’, as a ‘somebody?

While we may be aware though numerous Satsang inquiries, or though the personal spiritual search, that the ‘someone’, the ‘somebody’, is just a thought arising, we have the opportunity to really investigate the truth of this, not as an idea or as a concept. Through fully investigating who and what is arising, something new fresh is discovered, revealed to be true.

Investigate for yourself now – Who and where this someone, this identity, this one who has a life, is showing up. Notice first what is here – the body, sensations, emotions, breath. Notice all the ways that you identify, all the naming, all the roles, for this that you identify as. As a man, woman, adult, child, sister, brother, lover, friend, wife, husband, partner, daughter, parent, mother, father, sibling, colleague, worker, boss, employer, the good one, the bad one, nice one, kind one etc etc – there are so many ways we name and keep an identity, an idea of ‘our-self’ in place.

Start by bringing your attention to just one of these ways you identify, one of these namings, one of these roles. Notice as you bring you attention to this, how your body feels, any sensations, any tightening, clenching, notice your emotions, any response internally, physically, emotionally, mentally, without telling yourself any story about this naming / role. Notice how and where this someone is showing up, in your body, in your stance, in your energy, in your actions, in your arrogance, in your projections, in your mind, thoughts, concepts.

Now notice what is really here if you could no longer know yourself as that, no longer be know as that, no possibility of that even existing. What do you notice? What is the truth? What is really discovered? Without any possibility of naming of this role – maybe you discover a sense of contraction or strong emotion, fear, anger, shame, terror – allow that, stay open, what is here as you allow this?

What other roles or naming do you have that is keeping this identified self in place, this that you think of as you, this that you think is you?

Again ask – what is really here if you couldn’t know yourself as that, or be known as that, no possibility of that existing at all, not anywhere in consciousness. What is really here? What do you notice? What is the truth? What is really discovered? – Maybe you notice there are no edges, no boundaries, no definition, nothing solid – Often the instinct arises to protect, to contact, to re- identify. As though we were made of clay, we pat ourselves back into shape, back into the defined, back into the safe secure edges of what is familiar, into the known.

Sometimes it is the core of the identity that arises and is revealed, this that is keeping the whole identifying and ego structure in place. Ask again – If the fearful one, rejected one, shamed one, betrayed one, abandoned one, unsafe one, alone one (…  etc etc ) had no possibility of existing, if you couldn’t be that one, couldn’t know yourself as that one, couldn’t be known as that one – what is really here? What is discovered, what is the truth that underlies, that remains, that is always here, before, during and after these roles, these names, this identifying? If the unmet core fear is under the naming, identifying, go deeper, who you are remains untouched, open wider, go deeper still.

Notice the effort, the contraction in keeping the role, the naming in place. Notice the effortlessness of yourself when you have no possibility of entertaining the existence of that naming. When we remain open rather than contracting, we discover there is ‘no one’ to protect  – we remain as openness itself, as spaciousness itself, as Freedom!!

Remain as this that you are. If naming or identity arises, there is no need to contact, to cling, or to follow. Remain soft, breathing, open – remain as you are, wide open, unknown, boundaryless – Free!

In deepest gratitude for the truth of this One-Self ~ Namaste Yantra-ji

Nov 072016

Version 2

In the face of it all – saying ‘Yes’ to what is.

Often we are faced with situations, circumstances or events where we feel powerless to act, to do something or to make positive change. It may be a physical illness or injury, loss of a relationship or death, it may be unwanted recurring thoughts, or some type of emotional turmoil or other adversity, it may even be a subtle niggle that you cant quite put your finger on. Any situation can have us feel powerless, enraged, fearful or heartbroken. Often we don’t even realise that we are not wanting to feel what is really here, rather we want whatever is occurring to stop so we can go back to our comfortable lives, or to create a comfortable life.

How can we be still and true in the face of any unwanted or unwarranted circumstance, in the face of the worlds adversity, in the face of injustice, in the face of seemingly random events out of our control? First we must be willing to be present to all that is here in the moment, still, silent, un-moving.

Notice whether you are resisting what is here, even subtly are you saying ‘no’ to what is here? When we are willing to be here, to say yes – what is discovered ? Maybe there is a flood of strong emotion, anger, sadness, powerlessness, heart break? Once again notice, are you resting what is here? What would it be like to soften, to just say yes , yes to what is showing up in the moment, without judging it as right or wrong. It is our mind which interprets all that is coming in through the senses, all the thoughts we have about right and wrong, all of our conditioned responses. Without trying to change anything just for a moment allow all that is here. Allow the emotion to be here, without story , what is discovered deeper still.

“If you’re really listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the
world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact your heart is made to break;
its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold
ever-more wonders.” – Andrew Harvey

In the allowing, a greater opening is reveled, this that is free of concepts, free of time, free of anything, here is real peace, here is love and equanimity, stillness, silence, beauty. There is the possibility to remain here as this un-moving silent awareness that allows all – then true action can take place , not from a reaction, or mental judgement, not from a need to suppress or avoid – just true action, unknown, fresh, in the moment, free, spontaneous – here there is the possibility to bring this that you are to all.

Join us for an evening of Satsang, discover what is here when we allow everything, when we say yest to what is, discover this that is the freedom of your own self. ~ Namaste Yantra-ji

Oct 112016


The Core of Shame:

Shame is an emotion that most people tend to avoid, recoil from and deflect rather than be willing to feel. The words shame and humiliation can be interchangeable, they are two peas in the same pod. It is usually assumed that one is ‘shamed or humiliated’ from someone else, that it is somehow done to us. However like any emotion and feeling response, we feel it where it arises, within us.

If we feel we have been shamed or humiliated when young, we tend to spend much of our lives avoiding situations and circumstances that may trigger this same response. We develop a fearful feeling response, to feeling the emotion of shame or humiliation.

Occasionally life will present a situation where we feel that we are responsible for feeling shame. We may feel ashamed, at something we have said or done, or felt. Usually it is that we feel bad, upset, angry, defensive and ashamed of ourselves, our actions our behaviour, again it is often justified away so that we don’t have to feel the discomfort of it, preferring to blame it on some thing or some one.

As with any feeling response, any emotion, it is just a sensation within the body, it may be subtle or strong, and it is arising and falling. Feeling it cannot harm us, it is the same as feeling any other emotion, anger sadness, joy, pain, fear, love, all arsing and falling.

In the willingness to meet any emotion and remain innocent, un-moving, something else is always revealed, something else is always discovered to be deeper, in the core. The interesting thing about the emotional response of shame, is that when it is freely and fully met without any story, openly innocently freshly, then what remains is humility – yes in the core of shame, in the core of humiliation – is humility. So in avoiding what we fear, we are avoiding such a precious gift of humility itself. The simplicity and awe of meeting ourselves, through wherever arises. Such a gift.



I am
Bowed at the feet of God
Needing nothing
Sitting in the lap of God
Resting on the hand of God
Cradled in the heart of God
Seeing through the eyes of God
There is no thought
Embodying all
Rejecting nothing
In awe
I am
God and Self are one

~ Yantra-ji


Sep 262016
Here here some words from my beloved teacher Papaji as support  ~ Namaste Yantra-ji

“When you are out walking and you become tired you stop, you sit down, you relax. So when you get tired of trying to find solutions to your problems, when you find no solution, sit down. By sit down I mean, don’t try to solve the problem at all – the problem is in the past, it is not now. Don’t think about past problems, just leave them alone and sit down. This is the moment of relaxation. You only have to allow this, listen to it, do not do anything.

Just listen: Don’t go to the past. The past is a problem, the past is mind. When you go to the past all will be problems so don’t go to the past. The mind is the past and the past is a graveyard. Don’t go to the graveyard. All problems are dead, so return to this moment without trying to solve the problem. Trying has put you in trouble, so don’t touch this trying any more.
Simply sit down, keep quiet. Keep quiet for one moment. This is the moment you need, this is the moment of rest. Keep quiet for a moment without going to the past and you will find relaxation. There is no other way – simply do not think of the past. First help yourself – which means to not think – and then if you still need to you can ask me for help.
Just for this moment do not think, but direct your mind to its Source. Bring the mind which is thinking – which is going to the past – to face this present moment, and this will give you eternal rest.
Help yourself not to look to past moments and do you find any problems? In this moment, without going to the past, where is the problem? Has it gone away? Then you have helped yourself. This is truly Self help.” ~ Papaji

Sep 052016


Are you willing ?

You say you want to be true, to be free, to be your self, but do you really?

Are you willing to risk everything in order to be free here now ?

Are you willing to see what the unconscious habits and tendencies are that keep the cycle of upset, denial and fluctuating emotional responses in play ?

There is often some habit, behaviour or reaction that reoccurs in ones life, that we seem somehow to be oblivious to.

Are you willing to pierce the lie of what you have been believing to be true about you, about others, about life?

Are you willing to see, to experience, to feel the truth of how this plays out in your life, no matter how uncomfortable that may be, to face everything that you have ever felt and believed to be true?

This willingness is the entryway to being true.

What dos this mean to face everything? – it means just that – everything – face everything that you have ever felt and believed to be true, the lie of ego and the illusion of separation. To come face to face with what you are running towards, or away from, or moving against – be it love, connection, unworthiness, un-lovability, betrayal, safety, fear, security, loss, control, rejection, sex, lust, longing, needs, being right, wrong, blamed, not knowing – the list goes on and on ….

It is in the willingness to be true that all can be revealed.

You will see all the ways you move and dodge and weave in order to get or avoid some version of what you are hoping will fulfill you, complete you or give you what you are longing for. There is nothing for you to actually ‘do’ other that be open to the truth of what has been habitually occurring, and open to the deeper truth that has always remained untouched by any of it.

What do you really want? – now you can be real, now you can be truthful in making this choice when you say you want to be true, to be free, to be your self – In the willingness to speak the truth of your own self, you discover that you have always been FREE !!
Namaste ~ Yantra-ji

“We are so blessed to have the opportunity in this lifetime to sit in silence, to reflect, to inquire into the nature of truth and Self. Come home to yourself ! Who you really are at the core, in this very moment, is this that has always been here, this that always Is, the silent unchanging awareness” – Namaste Yantra-ji

Aug 222016


Meeting Death – Meeting Life

We have just offered a one-day Satsang Retreat ‘Meeting Death – Meeting Life’ – an invitation to really open, to meet death and meet life fully.
Many beloveds came to share in this sacred and tender time together, taking the opportunity to explore, to inquire, and to ask deeper questions about death, pain, life, love, loss, identity:
What is death?

Who is born, and who or what is it that dies?

What is never born and never dies?

What is here when we remain in the story of ‘if only’ or ‘what if’ or ‘why’?

How can we truly love, if we are holding back from fully meeting all that is here?

When we are available to meet all that arises, all of the pain, the shock, the heart break just as it is, the rawness, the realness of whatever arises in the moment – what is discovered?

How can we bear the pain of death, of loss?

How can we bear all of the suffering and the tragedy, in our own lives and in the world?

We have all heard the saying ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’ – in the willingness to remain open we discover the truth, a peace that is always here, in the midst of all pain.
The ongoing invitation is to take this opportunity, to open freshly into the discovery of what is here when there is a willingness to meet everything, uncensored. Discover what remains untouched by death.  In the meeting of death fully, something fresh is discovered – we are here, fully present, able to love fully, to meet life fully – as life itself.

The month of August is the anniversary of the passing and the funeral of my teenage son Cohen, who died unexpectedly in a car accident on the 21st August in 2012. At this time, over the past 3 years, we have offered a 10 day memorial in our home from the 21st – 31st August. This has been a time of retreat and inner reflection, a time of introspection, support and sharing for friends, family and our community to gather together, a time to really meet death and life fully.

This year the mysterious hand of grace was calling me to offer in a different way. As many of you are aware since moving from the Northern Beaches of Sydney last year to the beautiful Glenning Valley on The Central Coast, we have been offering one-day retreats. This year through this mysterious call of grace, this one-day retreat “Meeting Death – Meeting Life’, was called into being, occurring on the 21st August, on the anniversary of my son’s passing.

All I can ever do is to say yes to this call, to surrender, and allow this offering to come through.

~ Namaste Yantra-ji.

Aug 152016

be here as you are

‘Be’ here as you are!
It is an interesting thing the mind, and the thoughts that arise. Most people instantly believe the content of the thoughts that arise without question and are unaware that the mind is not who they are.

Recently I shared with you that I was nudged by grace to set the date for our August Satsang retreat on the 4 year anniversary of my sons death. I have learnt to trust these nudges regardless of the arising of the mind. Even so I became aware of a single thought – that went something like this ‘you don’t know how you will ‘be’ on that day’ – it was a great opportunity to really take a look at this thought – and to share with you what arose.

We often have these types of thoughts, How will I be? ..Can I cope?.. What will happen then?… etc … so what does this actually mean, how will I ‘be’? – in the thoughts world of creation, it is relating to physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically – so the truth is we can never know how we will be in any of these states of form other than here right now.

The truth is there is never a time that we will know how we will ‘be’, or ‘feel’ or ‘act’ in the future. We do not know how we will ‘be’ in the next moment, the next week, the next year. We do not know how we will be in any circumstance or situation. We may have an inkling or a nudge to follow, even so, there is nothing other than here now, so we can never know anything other that this experience that is happening right here, right now.

The arising of these types of thoughts are the minds way of asserting some type of control over a situation that cannot be controlled, trying to create a sense of the known, a sense of safety and security in the unknown. This projection of a thought into the future creates a sense of fear ( along with other emotional responses ) to have you be wary of what is to come – it is part of the animal survival mechanism, yet has no real place in truth.

Who you are is here now, as this unchanging awareness. There is such freedom in the act of inquiry to see through the lie and limitations of the egoic survival drives – what remains is the peace and freedom that is always and has always been here – as you .

The next time any thought arises, notice what the content is, notice regardless of the content how the thought is not relevant to this moment, allow your attention and awareness to remain here, present as your own self untouched by any rippling of these thought waves. If an emotional response arises, the same is true, allow it to be as it is, arising and falling, the same is also true for any bodily reaction, they all come and go, they all arise and pass.

Be here as you are! Keep your attention here, on what cannot change, the changeless – you are That !

All love always – Namaste Yantra-ji