Jan 272016

Version 2

It is said that gratitude is the path to a happy life. We have all heard of, or come across people that are either grateful or ungrateful and we can see how this manifests in the physical life circumstances or attitudes.

Throughout our childhoods we may have heard the words “you are ungrateful’ or “you ‘should’ be grateful”. As adults we may be perpetuating this same thought stream, that we, or others are either ungrateful, or should be grateful. When we look about our lives, the lives of others or the world situation, there are so many things that the mind can find to be unhappy about, things that are wrong, or need changing, could be better, different or even not at all. When we cast our eye or mind across the state of the world we can find evidence for this. We will often hear, esp in spiritual circles about gratitude, that we ‘should’ be grateful. So we find ourselves swinging like a pendulum between avoiding being ungrateful and needing to be grateful, swinging between avoiding being sinners and needing to be saints.

It is said that gratitude is the path to a happy life. Whilst there is definitely evidence to support this and there are of course so many things that we can search for to be grateful for – there is another possibility.

Rather than avoiding what we don’t like or want, or trying instead to find and focus on what we do like or want, in order to be grateful – we can just be as we are, without preference, without any intent. In this there is a letting go – not a letting go of, or in order to – rather a letting go INTO what IS. Just a relaxing into the moment, into here, into now, into being itself.

Notice what is discovered when you stop? When you stop avoiding being ungrateful and when you stop needing to be grateful – what is here? When you have no preference, no need, no requirement for anything to be any particular way, what is discovered?

Here in the moment, here where you are, here now -  there is a spontaneous arising of life, of sensation, of feeling, of presence, of gratitude. Gratitude – grateful just because it is, life is, This is.

It is said that gratitude is the path to a happy life. Gratitude is not something that you need to generate, or must be generated in order to have a happy life – the happiness of life is arising and falling as gratitude itself, grateful for itself, to itself, for itself. What then is this Path to happiness? – When you stay here as you are there is no path, there is nowhere other than here and you discover, happiness just is, gratitude is. There is no needing to do or be anything, there is no-one to be grateful, or ungrateful – Gratitude is THIS – this spontaneous arising of This that you are, consciousness itself. Then you speak the truth – I Am – yes – I Am Grateful – Yes – this gratitude that is. Then the personality experiences the truth of this, is affected by this, is not separate from this – and all of life, of this life of form, is experienced as, and permeated by the truth of this, Gratitude itself.

Namaste in Gratitude for This – Yantra-ji

Oct 192015


Special Satsang celebration of Papaji’s Birthday

( In gratitude to Chandi Devi for the sharing of this beautiful Photo of Beloved Papaji ) “Perfect awakening is possible here and now for every human being, regardless of background, practice or personal circumstances. You are already free! Anything gained afresh will be lost. What is eternal is always within you, as your own Self. This is the unchanging substratum on which your hopes and desires are reflected. It is hopes and desires which conceal the ever-pure consciousness. The Self will reveal to itself in the twinkling of an eye once you abandon all hope and desire, the old-age disease of the mind. Keep quiet. Don’t allow a single thought to stir.
Be effortless and in an instant you will discover that you have always been free. Om Tat Sat”
~ Papaji

On Tuesday evening the 13th October 2015 we had a Special Satsang celebration for Papaji’s Birthday.
My Beloved teacher Papaji, Sri H.W.L Poonja was born on the 13th October, 1910. We celebrated PAPAJI’S 105th Birthday as beloveds from all around the world gathered to honoring and celebrate the birth of his divine form. His form, which was used by the fire of grace , by life itself, to be an endless, effortless pointing to That which is the Truth, to That which you are, beyond form, Freedom itself – The Self itself, is this which we all are.
How lucky in this lifetime that we get to meet ourselves and each other through the grace of such a BEAUTIFUL EXISTENCE! SUCH A ONE!
I bow in gratitude to This – Blessings Papaji – for the wondrous gift of this one Self – Papaji Ki JaI !!!
~ In gratitude always for This – Namaste Yantra-ji

Oct 122015


“Satsang – here we meet in the silence of the Self.
Life – here we meet in the silence of the Self.
In this moment, here, there is no past, no future.
Here we meet in the silence of the Self.”
~ Yantra-ji

“The Silence that I speak about is neither meditating nor sitting quiet. The Silence that I speak about has nothing to do with meditation or talking or not talking because then the mind is still running about here and there and everywhere. What I mean by Silence is that should be no thought rising from the mind. No thought rising from your mind is Silence. Stillness of mind comes from giving up all attachments except that attachment to Self. When the mind is quiet, all is Self.” ~ Sri H.W.L Poonja – Papaji

“What exists in truth is the Self alone. The self is that where there is absolutely no “I” thought. That is called Silence. The Self itself is the world; the Self itself is “I”; the Self itself is God.” ~ Ramana Maharshi

“This silence, this moment, every moment, if it’s genuinely inside you, brings what you need. There’s nothing to believe. Only when I stopped believing in myself did I come into this beauty. Sit quietly, and listen for a voice that will say, ‘Be more silent.’ Die and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign that you’ve died. Your old life was a frantic running from silence. Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence.” ~ Rumi

“Be quiet in your mind, quiet in your senses, and also quiet in your body. Then, when all these are quiet, don’t do anything. In that state truth will reveal itself to you. It will appear in front of you and ask,” what do you want?” ~ Kabir

“Words stand between silence and silence: between the silence of things and the silence of our own being, between the silence of the world and the silence of God. When we have really met and known the world in silence, words do not separate us from the world nor from other men, nor from God, nor from ourselves because we no longer trust entirely in language to contain reality.” ~ Thomas Merton

“Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind rest at peace. The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return. They grow and flourish and then return to the source. Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.” ~ Lao Tzu

“No particular thought can be mind’s natural state, only silence. Not the idea of Silence, but silence itself. When the mind is in its natural state, it reverts to silence spontaneously after every experience, or, rather, every experience happens against the background of silence. ” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

“When you experience the profound silence and stillness of your own Self, the habits of ego, of movement, are no longer seen or experienced as enticing. A deeply restful profound stillness, this that you are, silence itself calls you home. Home to your Self, as your Self, as you are, already free.” ~ Yantra-ji

~ In gratitude always for This – Namaste Yantra-ji

Sep 282015


Greeting the Uninvited Guest

I am so grateful for all that has shown up on my life path that continually revels the truth – time seems to pass yet there is only here in this moment – I wrote this message ( below ) one month after my son died ( 3years and one month ago today ) – the willingness to be open, to be here, totally available to the moment is such a blessing – regardless of the rawness, regardless of whatever is broken open, regardless of the uninvited guest – humbled by it all – I offer these words in support of greeting all of your uninvited guests, your unexpected visitors, with open arms and an open heart.

“Some days are harder or easier than others in this flux of emotion..today it is the 21st..one month since the police knocked at the door to say my beautiful boy had died, it is not easy to reconcile that a whole month has passed since that day, with the memorial, then the funeral, and collecting my precious ones ashes.. I can see how our mind and the stories we tell can create more pain, and yet some of it just rolls in like an uninvited guest… and reminds me of beloved Rumi’s poem the The Guest House:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond. ~ Jelaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks

~ In gratitude always for This – Namaste Yantra-ji


Sep 212015


9FCDECE24F494A86A3942520E1CA5973 copy 5

Telling the truth – what do you really want?

During a life time we are presented with so many opportunities, so many options, ways of being, what or who to be, how to act, where to go, what to do, be and have. There is often a moment, when all of this is no longer enough. Maybe there is a tragedy, a death or illness, a family break up or financial crisis – something that brings us to a point of stopping, a point of inquiring, of reflecting, of seeking, of asking – ‘what is this life?’, ‘why am I here?’, ‘what am I doing?’,’who am I in all of this?’

Sometimes there is just a longing for something, for something else, for something deeper, something different, something more or something less. We find that we are searching, seeking for answers, looking for meaning, trying to fix or change our outer world and the circumstances of life, or trying to fix or change ourselves, our inner world, our thoughts, behavious and emotions.

While there is some merit in this seeking, this searching and these changes, as for a time we may feel more fulfilled, more at peace, happier even – it is all layered on top of who we think we are, who we fear we are ( or are not ) or who we perceive ourselves to be. This brings with it another layer of suffering, of seeking, of needing to fix and change. Often the search for a better, healthier, wealthier, happier self, is substituted for a more spiritual, awake, aware, enlightened self – Yet this SELF, this ‘I’, this one who is wanting, needing, searching, seeking, longing, is still all layered on top of who we think we are, who we fear we are ( or are not ) or who we perceive ourselves to be.

In Satsang I often ask the question ‘ What do you want?’

‘What is your deepest desire?’, what is your deepest longing?’ whatever the superficial desires, we look deeper.

What is that designed to give you? – and if you had that what then is your deepest desire?

What do you really want?

We can trick ourselves into answering this question in a spiritual way, answering that we want freedom, peace, truth – BUT DO YOU REALLY? - When you scratch the surface, what is discovered to be true?

What we know and understand is that the living physical form, is always seeking survival – it is natural animal drive which can show up in various ways.
Some of us have habitually been seeking out safety or security in one form or another, others have been wanting control, mastery, or power in one form or another, others are wanting to be loved, wanted, seen, respected. Have you investigated this?

If the answer is yes – are you aware of the subtle ways that this survival drive is still driving ALL that you do?

So now when we ask again this question ‘what do you want?’ , you may see that even though you say you want peace, you may really want to stay in control. Even though you say you want freedom, you may still really be wanting to be loved. Even though you say you want truth, you may still want to stay safe and secure!

The thing that is important here, is to speak the truth to yourself about what is really here and what you really want.

Maybe it is that when you are sacred what you want above all else is to be safe, or when you feel alone you want to be loved, or when you are powerless you want to be in control. This then is speaking the truth and gives you the opportunity to really ask – is this true? is this what I really want – to be safe, or loved or in control – rather than being free?

If what you want is to be free – it is freedom no matter what!!!!

There must be the willingness to meet whatever is here in the arising of the moment.
To be free, here, as you are, even if the feeling of fear arises ( which drives the need or safety and security )  To be free, here as you are, even if the feeling of being unlovable, unworthy or abandoned arises ( which drives the needy behaviour of having to be loved, wanted or respected )

To be free, here as you are, even if anger or righteousness arises at being powerless ( which drives the need to be in control )

When you are willing to stay here as you are, to meet ALL that arises in the moment, without trying to change or fix anything, when you are willing to be here authentically, open, tender, vulnerable, then you discover this that does not require anything from you!

You discover this which is unaffected by the physical form. You discover this which is unaffected by the arising of any thought or belief. You discover this which is unaffected and unmoved by emotion.

You discover this that has always been here – this that you are, this that is, this that has always been, and always is – FREEDOM itself. There is such a surrender into this discovery, freshly here in the moment, a surrender and a deepening into this that is your own self.

What a relief!

The search is over in an instant that you recognise the truth.

Endless blessings and gratitude for this grace that has brought you back home to yourself. 

In gratitude always for This – Namaste Yantra-ji

Sep 072015

In this moment

In This Moment
This moment, here where you are, is all there is.
Stretching, opening, empty of everything.
This moment is so huge, so vast, so deep, so full.
It is also void.
Void of all thought, so endless, so empty.
Words cannot do justice to this that needs nothing,
is nothing.

This moment is the totality of everything and nothing – no-thing at all.
Nothing before, nothing now, nothing after -
only This.
Here where you are, this that you are, is here, is nothing -
is This.
Who you are,
is the seeming arising and falling of everything and nothing -
in this moment, as this moment.
Who you are is this moment itself,
Not ‘a moment’ – but the moment itself,
this that cannot even be named as ‘moment’,
There is no ‘in’ or ‘out’ of this moment
this moment IS ALL -
this that does not exist in time.
Timeless, nameless, formless.
This moment, here, now, is you,
encompasses all.
Who you are is timeless, eternal, now.
Who you are is nowhere other than now,
nothing and everything exist,
everything and nothing exist
in this moment.

In gratitude always for This – Namaste Yantra-ji

Aug 242015


Version 2

Endless, Effortless, Being

We come together in Satsang to discover the truth – that who we are, is here, already Free.

Every meeting is a confirming of this that you are, still, silent, pure, pristine, unnameable awareness.

There is Nothing that is needed, not be be found, not to be fixed, not to be
let go of.

Who you are is here regardless of who you think you are.

Who you are is here regardless of what you think you deserve.

Who you are is here always, already Free!!

There is such joy in the simplicity of this discovery. There is such gratitude in simply being as one is.

What is required?

Only the desire for the truth and the willingness to leave behind any idea, concept, requirement or effort, that you associate with what this is – then you discover simply what has always been here.

Such a relief – Endless, Effortless, Being.

In gratitude always for This One Self – Namaste Yantra-ji

Aug 102015


Moved by the Presence of Love

Presence is this that is consciousness, grace, awareness, love itself. We have the opportunity at every moment to be here as we are, as this consciousness, as this grace, as love, as awareness itself. There is nothing that we need to do, to be this! There is nothing that we need to gain, to get, to fix, to change – consciousness, grace, love, awareness, presence is ALWAYS here as who we are. It is only the minds attention that moves to other things, born of thoughts driven usually by fear and survival.

To stay here as we are is refreshing, freeing, liberating. Nothing is needed, we are just as we are. We are moved, we are used, freely and freshly in each moment by This that we are. We get to respond, to play in life, just as we are. There is such a gift in just being naturally, authentically ourselves, being This that we already are. There is no concept, no thought, no preconceived idea of how we will be used, how we will be moved, how we will play, how we will respond. Everything is fresh, new, alive, this is the gift of presence, of love itself.

I was recently in the city during the day with my beloved, to attend a meeting. Whilst he works in the city, going into the city is not a regular occurrence for me. We headed first to a nearby parking station. As we turned a corner at a set of traffic lights, there was a man sitting on the corner, on the pavement with his back to me, holding a hand written sign – I could not read all of the words other than – ‘I am homeless please help me’. I was moved by such a strong and overwhelming desire to get out of the car and help him. It was as though I was struck by such a compelling force, it arose not from any thought, only from this unseen grace that pushes and pulls us if we stay open and available to the moment.

My beloved teacher Papaji says to stay still and silent on the Mountain top (referring to Mt Arunachala) don’t move unless you are pulled or pushed by grace.

This was one of those moments, this pull, this push was so strong. I said to my beloved, “oh I need to get out, I need to see him, I must meet with this man.” By the time these words were spoken, we had moved around the corner in the traffic and I was unable to physically get out of the car. There was a deeper trust and an inner knowing arising that I would indeed be meeting with this man.

We traveled up and down the maize of one way streets to get to our parking destination, then started to walk on foot to our meeting.It was like being a child in awe, in wonder at everything, the buildings, the people, the senses being bombarded by movement, sound, smell, by life – it was incredibly fresh and alive.

Then we arrived at the traffic lights opposite the homeless man sitting on the pavement, my heart skipped with joy. I reached into my bag for some notes to give him, folded them discretely and held them in my hand as I waited for the lights to change. I was aware of no one paying him any attention, no one looking, and as we started to walk across towards him I was aware of people averting their eyes from him, moving around him, still paying no attention.

Here was a man, another human being, sitting on the cold cement pavement. Who knows why his life had conspired to have him be here, why his destiny was as it was at that moment. There was no judgement in his condition or circumstances, all I could do was respond to the moment, to move towards him, being led by this internal pull, by this unseen grace, by love itself.

As I went towards and around to the front of him, I could see he was holding the sign in one hand, holding a book in the other reading, there was a can in front to put money, coins in ( there was a 5 cent coin in it ).

Putting money into this can was not what I was being called to, not to placate him, not to appease some sense of a righteous deed, the money did not mean anything,  as the small offering would not really make any difference. I sat down on the ground directly in front of him, with people walking all around us. He looked up and met my gaze, I met his, met him. Here in this moment all stood still, there was no me, no him, no other, no homelessness, no people, no city, no street. Here there was just presence. Here there was just love meeting love, meeting itself, being met, not needing anything.

I put my hand out discretely toward him and said – here this is for you. Without averting our eyes from this meeting he tucked it into his top pocket. We continued to be here together, innocently freshly meeting together.

It was indescribably beautiful. Such a precious and rare meeting with such a beautiful human being. What a gift , what a blessing.

How many had missed this opportunity, to be present anywhere, any time, to anyone.

There was no need to speak, no need to ask anything of him, no need to tell him anything of me. Then the words arose – I hope you have a really lovely day today – our eyes still in this same gaze, this same meeting. As I got up, he went back to reading his book, holding his sign, sitting on the pavement – having been truly met. Met by life, met by grace, met by this one self showing up here as the two. The preciousness of this gift for both of us.

My beloved stood silently this whole time just witnessing as aware presence, and shared with me how we have no idea how such a meeting could change the course of someones life.
We left and went on to our scheduled meeting, had lunch and then walked through the city some more. There were other homeless people all around doing whatever they were doing. There was no pull to take action, only just the silent witnessing of This that is life showing up in all of its forms.

Without any judgement, I was aware of witnessing the overt display of wealth that is surrounding us everywhere, and the poverty, not just of the homelessness, but the real poverty of having the attention taken by this and that, distracted by anything and everything that moves us away from our heart, away from love, away from This that we are, presence itself.

I shared this encounter with a friend, who said that she would not be able to do that, could not do that, could not imagine doing that, she said it was too confronting, what about her life, her children, how could she stop and do what I did.

The truth is ‘I’ did not ‘Do’ anything – there was no ‘I’ doing involved -  just as Papaji said, only move from the mountain if you are pushed or pulled by grace. All that occurred was an impulse from grace arose, it was followed and enacted by grace, and was a blessing shared by grace.

So a question may arise – Does this then mean that we should or need to stop and support every homeless person we meet?

Moved by the presence of Love

This cannot be answered by me for you, other than, to say that what is required only, is trusting what is here arising in the moment freshly. Following the pull of grace, this that is love, this that moves your heart, effortlessly – This is what you trust, this that is living you, guiding you, moving you, this is being Moved by the Presence of Love.

In gratitude always for This One Self

Namaste Yantra-ji

Aug 032015


beyond mind

Beyond Mind

Is mind a friend or foe, a menace or messenger? All of these polarities are born of mind – So What is mind ? My teacher Papaji says that mind and thought are one, are the same.

Mind or thought can be experienced as being a mental, physical or emotional response, it may present as a word, a series of words, as a thought stream, it may arise as images, pictures, colour or sound, as a physical sensation or any other phenomena.

When we investigate Mind and thought we discover they are an arising out of consciousness, an arsing of identity, of identifying, of naming, of knowing, of separation.
The purpose of naming or identifying is to know oneself as a separate self,  a separate entity, to give definition, to define, to have boundaries, limits, to this that arises as form out of consciousness.

Is there then a problem with mind or thought or identifying,  if it all arises from this one source – the simple answer is of course NO  – when one rests as they are, as consciousness itself, then any arising and falling does not touch this that is.

A problem is only found in mind, by mind – this that is owning, naming, identifying, needing definition, needing separation, to be a someone, somewhere, doing something. The problem is not actually real, it is only an arising in consciousness, a stream of thought, of sensation, of images, of emotions, which is believed to be real – this belief  is yet another thought arising in consciousness. When we discover the truth of this then we are free to be here as we are. Nothing needs to change, nothing needs to be fixed, the mind or thoughts don’t need to be stopped – here as we are, there is a peace that becomes available, a peace that we discover is our own self.

How then do we stay here as we are, undisturbed by any arising of mind and thought?

My teacher Papaji says not to stir a single thought.
So what is discovered, if you do not stir, give rise to, or follow a single thought?

When there is no attention given to the arising or falling of any thought, we discover what is here, what remains, and what has always been here. This that is full, vast, empty, this that is still, peace, roaring silence – this is the ground of our being , this is awareness itself, this is the consciousness that is all – all arising and falling back into itself. No-one is needed to name, no-one is needed to define, no-one is needed to identify as anyone or anything – all this arising and falling occurs on its own, without any intervention necessary.

When we stay here as we are, then there is the possibility to discover the endless depth of this that is our own self.
In gratitude always for This One Self – Namaste Yantra-ji

Jul 272015

What is silence?
When we look up the definition of ‘silence’, we discover that Silence is said to be the lack of audible sound. Silence can refer to any absence of communication or hearing, in speech, music and media. Silence can also be used as a form of non verbal communication and spiritual connection.

Silence in spirituality is often an indicator of inner stillness. A silent mind, freed from the onslaught of thoughts and thought patterns, is often thought to be both a goal and an important step in spiritual development. This inner silence is not about the absence of sound, rather it is understood to bring one in contact with the divine, the ultimate reality, or one’s own true self, one’s divine nature.

Many religious traditions state the importance of being quiet, still in mind and spirit for spiritual growth to occur. In Christianity, there is the silence of contemplative prayer. In Islam, there are the Sufi teachings that suggest the importance of finding silence within. In Buddhism, descriptions of silence and allowing the mind to become silent are implied as a feature of spiritual enlightenment. In Hinduism, Advaita Vedanta and the many paths of Yoga, teachers insist on the importance of silence, known as Mauna – a source of peace and silence for inner growth. In some traditions communal silence is used as a form of worship. Silence often is thought to create the opening for the divine to speak in the heart and mind. Eckhart Tolle says that silence can be seen either as the absence of noise, or as the space in which sound exists, just as inner stillness can be seen as the absence of thought, or the space in which thoughts are perceived. Gangaji and Eli suggest having a silent mind and an open heart.
In the context of Satsang, in the investigation of the truth of the one self, let us discover this silence.
What is silence? Where is silence? How does one experience or cultivate silence?
My teacher Papaji says not to stir a single thought – then what is discovered, if you do not stir, give rise to, or follow a single thought?
Firstly let us be clear about what we mean by mind or thought – A thought can be identified as being a mental, physical or emotional response, it may present as a word, a series of words, as a thought stream, it may arise as images, pictures, colour or sound, as a physical sensation or any other phenomena.

When there is no attention given to the arising of any thought
we discover what is here, what remains, and what has always been here. Profound, vast, still, empty, full, silence – this is the ground of our being , this is awareness itself, this is the consciousness that is all – all arising and falling back into silence.
Then there is the possibility to discover the endless depth of this silence that is our own self.

In gratitude always for This One Self – Namaste Yantra-ji